I've cut myself several times this month. I did on my thighs so no on could see, and I haven't done it for a week or two. But I'm forcing myself NOT to... I don't know what to do... I can't tell anyone but someone who doesn't know me, because honestly- they'll think I'm joking. At school I'm one of those bubbly, always happy girls. But on the bus ride home, I start to fall apart, and by the time I'm home I'm just so depressed I want to die. I feel scared even telling you all this... no one knows this side of me.
(#26) It’s sad how often people can believe the guise of a smile.
Have you heard of To Write Love On Her Arms?
It’s a movement dedicated specifically to teenagers struggling with cutting, and learning how to cope differently with the need to vent their pain. And most of all, it lets you know you’re not alone. Hundreds of thousands of people experience their own conflicts with cutting themselves, and have found comfort in the support groups the TWLOHA movement. While no one can specifically understand what you are feeling, many know what it’s like. Perhaps to protect your identity, it may be something you can consider looking into.
Otherwise, I strongly suggest you find someone you can trust - anyone. It doesn’t even have to be a person. It can be a pet, a dog, a cat, even a fish. Something you can talk to that won’t endanger your self-speech. Sometimes that can be really healing in itself.
I wish you the best of luck and hope to hear from you again. (: Keep strong.
I have problems being myself at school, and at my sporting club, i find it hard to talk to people and im not sure why, i really just want to let go and show them who i am. Im known as the kid who hardly speaks at school and at my club and i dont want to be known as that, i do have friends im not a loner or anything but i want to prove to them i can talk, also whenever something goes wrong or i have a bad day it really gets to me, and i get really down and just want to be by myself. what can i do?
(#25) Being an introvert can be tough! It’s something I struggled with all through school, and unfortunately didn’t overcome until college.
Sometimes the key is to find something new. By putting yourself into a situation where people may not necessarily know who you are, you’re able to immediately impress them with the person you want to be. In doing so, you can gain practice in these mannerisms that you don’t see yourself doing around others.
Look in your community and see if there’s any clubs or functions you can actively participate in. Join a dance group, or a performance group, something that can also hone your skills in being a more open individual but also expose you to new experiences.
Unfortunately, drawing into yourself goes hand in hand in being an introvert - it’s really what an introvert is all about. Once you learn to tackle your shy behaviors, you’ll eventually be able to open up to other people. But sometimes being alone doesn’t hurt when you’re needing time to cope. (:
Your blog has made me so happy (:
Thank you <3
(: And thank you!
When I'm doing things like going to get a glass of water or going out of my room, there's this type of voice inside my head that warns me that something bad will happen, no matter what ! Even if I'm only brushing my hair, I sometimes feel like I have to brush one part of my hair first or it might fall off. I can't even sit on a car without this happening, it tells me to take another seat because there's going to be a car accident and I'm going to die if I stay in this place, and when I change, it tells me that I have to go to the place I was before, and on it goes. I'm so afraid most of the time, I'm afraid of what might happen if I don't listen this voice. And I feel watched all the time, as if I'm never alone. But I'm embarrassed of telling my parents or my shrink.
(#24) A strict reminder that I am not a professional, and these are only my opinions from what I have learned in my schooling.
You could be suffering from Obsessive Compulsive Disorder. OCD leads to a lot of strange, and unique behaviors that can lead you to believe something bad will happen if you don’t carry out those “rituals.”
The best way for you to tackle these rituals would be to talk to your therapist. Seeing as it sounds like you have a history with them, chances are they will know the best techniques to use to help combat these feelings.
Also take a deep reflection on your life: OCD occurs most often from anxiety. Are you feeling particularly stressed out as of late? You may want to target those areas, and you will likely see a decrease in your unwanted behaviors (otherwise you risk creating an endless cycle of anxiety).
(: Good luck!
like every normal person i get sad,angry,exited and so on. But i~m starting to think my emotions are bit out of control....i'll get really sad like crying and thinking i suck and no one loves me and suddenly some time, or days later i will be super happy, making plans and being anxious for no reason! Then out of no where i'll get irritated at someone for no reason. Other days i think i have the best friends in the world, and other days i think they hate me and talk about me behind my back (badly)! And i'm also very weird.....like when i'm in bed i'll look around and feel like someone is watching me, sometimes i even sleep with my parents because of this..Am i crazy, do i have a disorder, or am i just plain weird?
okaaaay, i know i sound super weird but i hope u can help me this is really bothering me. And if ur wondering i'm happy today!!!!
(#23) Have a moment, take a deep breath, and let it out slow.
Because you’re absolutely fine.
Chances are you’re under the impression that you’re suffering from serious mood disorder, when in fact, you’re probably not. You likely have several other factors contributing to these mood swings, or you may be suffering at the mercy of your hormones - both of which are very normal, and typical in a teenager.
As far as your depression is concerned, consider arranging with your parents to see a psychiatrist or a therapist. They can help teach you different methods in handling your depression, and to help keep that euphoric high of your happiness more regular.
(; As for the paranoia of being watched, I think you’re just weird.
I have had a few bad relationships before. I've been cheated on, and pushed to do things that I didn't want to (like sexual things). I know that not every guy is the same, and I'm currently dating a wonderful guy who I'd love to trust fully. But there's something stopping me, and it's mostly fear. I'm just too scared to trust him, and too afraid to be intimate with him. I don't want this to ruin our relationship, but he's worried about it, and so am I. How do I get to a point where I'm comfortable being intimate with my boyfriend? I love him, and I don't want to be to afraid to really... love him.
(#22) Your fear is entirely justified, and it’s definitely nice to hear you have a boyfriend who is concerned. The biggest step you can make is to talk to him. Explain to him what’s stopping you from this intimacy, why you’re afraid, and that you need his cooperation - and patience - to help you get through this. With that knowledge in hand, then you can start making steps forward.
Try little things first, even if they seem stupid. Hold his hand, give him a hug. Make sure YOU initiate these actions so you understand you have control in the situation. Once you’re comfortable with that, then allow him to be the one to initiate those small gestures of affection. Then move forward from there, swapping roles with each little step.
It’s going to be a tough, long journey, but with the support from your boyfriend, you can do it. (:
Thanks for the answer. And yeah...i told two of my friends about this and they told me to talk to my therapist...it's just sometimes it's kind of hard. If i tell her my parents find out and things get worse...But i'll tel her anyways. Thanks :)
(#21) Then you might want to seek a new therapist.
Unless you’re a danger to yourself, the law holds that she cannot share your information with anyone - including your parents.
(: I wish you the best of luck, however. It sounds like you have some good friends.
Well, since the beginning of the year i was a bit weird like irritated all the time, didn't want to do anything, didn't want to talk to anyone,got in fights with my parents for nothing.. and i started seeing a therapist and she said i was depressed...well it got better and it's been about 2 months since i'm normal...but since saturday (today is thursday) anything my friends say makes me feel hurt, i feel like i don't belong, i feel like crying when i think about this. i think no one except my family really loves me. i feel like no one needs me, and that i'm stupid. Yesterday i stood at the door of my therapist crying and couldn't go in, it took me a while but i dried my tears and went in, and today i felt like crying in class and i went to the nurse and had to pretend i had cramps. And when my friends asked me if anything was wrong i told them i had a headache. Is this just me being sad for a week? Or do you think i should warn people i think my depression is coming back? And is the therapy not working?
(#21) No amount of therapy will ever cure your depression - but it will help you learn to cope with it, and teach you how to manage through those tough times.
Is there a particular reason why you didn’t show your therapist the depth of your feelings? We’re only so versed in reading people, and a great amount of it depends on what you’re willing to share.
It could be you might need a different type of therapy - and this is something I would suggest you talk to your therapist about. The sooner, the better. As someone with a history of depression, it could very well be you’ve just fallen into a lapse again - and it happens. It’s normal. You just have to find what truly works for you, in the long run.
hello. alright, brace yourself for a long story here...
so. about a year ago my mom decided to seriously divorce my dad. she had always been talking about it, and i never thought it would be serious until that point. she talked about it for a good while, but when summer hit we went to visit and check out where she wanted us to move to. i figured it was probably going to happen but still not quite sure that she had the guts to do it. i returned home and my friends had all missed me a lot over the summer since i was gone for over a month. i started hanging out with a lot of different groups of people and just having some really fun times. this one boy started talking to me when i got back and i thought he was absolutely hilarious and fun to be around, so i enjoyed texting him all the time and occasionally hanging out when our friend groups would hang out together. we talked more and more and got pretty close. eventually he confessed he liked me and i told him i thought i probably liked him too. a few days later i told him that we would never be able to date, although i couldn't tell him why. (because i thought i would be moving in a matter of weeks.) however, my mom kept pushing back the date of moving, until eventually it was a week before the school i went to was going to start.
i guess i forgot to throw in that my dad did not know about her plans for divorce. this was all going to be done secretly until the day of, when she would pack up and tell him we were going.
anyways, to keep the secrecy she was telling me that i probably would have to attend school for about 2 weeks. she came up with all these reasons of why it was probably better that way, and so off i went to start my junior year in a place i knew i was leaving. anyways, i finally told this boy that it was because i was moving that we couldn't date. we talked about how it sucked for awhile, but a few days before school started we decided to date anyway, because by that point our feelings were too much to ignore. school started and we saw each other everyday, and i fell hard and fast. he did too. within a matter of days he told me that he knew for certain he was in love with me, and that i was the first girl he had ever felt more than small attraction for. i was unsure if i felt the same way, but after a couple more weeks, i knew i was head over heels for this guy. i didn't understand it, but there was just something about him so beautiful and amazing. i couldn't get enough. my mother kept changing her mind about leaving and i developed this awful denial about it. my life had never been better. i had the most amazing boyfriend ever. my friends were all the friends i had dreamed of having for years. even my classes in school were all of the ones i wanted to take. but there was that nagging fear of leaving. after attending school for a month, my mother finally decided we were going. it all happened really fast, and i had no control over any of it. i tried to tell her i wanted to stay with my dad, but she wouldn't have it. my mother really is the better parent of the two, but i would have endured my dad's awful parenting for this boy. for my friends. for my new life and new sense of self. but off we went. i cried for days. whenever my mom stopped talking to me for a good 10 minutes my mind would wander and i would break down. i missed him so badly on the entire way to our new house. now, i've been here for a week. i'm starting my new school tomorrow and my boyfriend and i broke up yesterday, because neither of us wanted to attempt a long distance relationship. don't get me wrong, i love him so much. maddeningly so, because i can't think of anything else and it hurts so much that he isn't mine any more. i know he loves me more than i can imagine, but i just want to be with him. any advice on how to get through this? by this i mean: leaving my first love, leaving my best friends, experiencing extreme culture shock (i moved from the northwest to the south), going through my parent's divorce, and for some reason the most worrying of them all, starting a new school.
(#20) A lot of people are under the impression that distance means loss. But true, sincere friendship shouldn’t be hindered by boundaries - by being states, countries or even continents away. If your friendships with these people are as intense as you feel them to be, why give up on them?
While you can’t physically be with the boy, remain in touch with him - and with your friends. There are unbelievable stories about love and how it can survive through the toughest times. I say this from personal experience. My boyfriend has been my best friend since we were eight, and despite being several hundred miles away, we managed to find each other again and again. So if you have the ambition, and the love, you can do almost anything.
But also, look forward to these new experiences. Being in a new place means you can be a new person, you can start from scratch. You’re going to meet amazing people and you’re going to experiencing amazing things. It’s hard to leave comfort behind, but in the end, this will only make you stronger.
My boyfriend is leaving in a month. We've only been dating for 3 months, but I love him, and he says he loves me. The problem isn't just that he's leaving, it's that he's probably never coming back here. He wants me to go with him, but I'm a few years younger and haven't had my chance at finishing college and exploring my own life yet, but he's already pursuing his career of choice and knows what he wants out of life.
I don't know if I should just end the relationship now and try to move on, or give long distance a shot and risk even more pain later on. Then again, there's always the chance it'll work out. I just can't see how right now.
What should I do?
(#19) Long distance is one of the hardest things in the world to do (I’ve been there!) and it can be unbearably trying at times. It’s nothing like several thousand miles to really remind you how awful it feels to be away from the person you love.
But that would be my suggestion; your relationship is still young and has plenty of room for growth. People who are truly dedicated to their love can make long-distance work. With additions such as Skype to the dating game, it becomes even easier to stay in intimate contact with a loved one.
Give it a try. In the end, what’s the worst it can do? You’ll still be in a place you feel secure sans your boyfriend, but at least you won’t be in the middle of some strange new place if things do go sour.